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Answers, part 1

December 13, 2012~ küsimused & vastused, sildita

First of all – thank you all for your kind words and really interesting questions! I had a lot of fun answering them and since there are so many of them, I decided to break them into two parts. Otherwise you’ll just be bored out of your minds before you finish reading! Here we go, I hope my answers are what you had in mind, if not – let me know!

PERSONAL/RELATIONSHIPS

Have you considered studying something at a university? When the kid is a bit bigger and there’s more time? What would you want to study?
I sure have! I’ve thought long and hard to come up with the best possible plan for my future to not be committed to something I’m not passionate about. That’s why I’ve decided to start by studying to be a pastry chef. Then I’m going to want to pursue university studies and I’m considering studying languages. Not sure which yet, though!

What do you miss at the moment?
My mommy. I’m such a mama’s girl and I wish we could see her more often. I wish I had a family to gather around the table with at Christmas, but we haven’t had that since my beloved grandmother died. Luckily I can borrow H’s awesome family, they all welcome me with open arms. 🙂

Does H work in Estonia?
Yes, he does.

Have you ever been too depressed to move out of your bed?
Oh hells yes. Having back my joie de vivre is such a blessing, in comparison to never wanting to see anyone or do anything ever again.

Do you get depressed easily?
I’ve been in a depression and never really dealt with it so yes. Not like I used to because my daughter’s smile literally makes all the bad things magically go away, but I do sometimes cry myself to sleep. Doesn’t mean I’m unhappy, just means there’s ghosts from my past that I haven’t dealt with properly.

Do you get jealous/envious easily?
Not if there’s trust (and I’m very trusting).

Do you worry about messing about your relationships a lot?
Yes, I do. I have a very manipulative nature (not by intention) and I’ve done just that, messed about my relations in the past. Today I’m very conscious about just being straight forward, affectionate and honest so there are never any mixed signals.

Do you judge people who think differently to you?
Overall, in theory – no. I sincerely think everyone is entitled to their opinion and I generally don’t think I know better. But when I’m in an argument with someone, they often feel I’m forcing my opinion on them. I never really am, but I guess I come off like that. Then there are times when I honestly am judging someone (an example: someone telling you they think “Toddlers and Tiaras” is a nice way for kids to learn about “real life”) and in those cases I’m pretty literal about it. I tell them I think their point of view is absurd. What they make of it is their business, at least I’m honest about where I stand.

Do you spend lot of money on food? On clothes?
Depends what you mean by a lot. I’m no penny pincher and if good quality ingredients cost money, then so be it. Clothes? Overall, yes, because I buy clothes for the whole family. My own? Not really. Some of what I buy is from second hand stores, some I order from Sweden when there are sales and I rarely find anything expensive I like that I pay full price for. Happens, though. 🙂

Is there one thing all of your love interests have had in common?
Not all my crushes and “love interests”, no (other than maybe coming off very charismatic). People I’ve genuinely loved? Yes. They’ve all been very loving, funny and made me want to become a better person.

What’s the hardest thing you’ve ever done?
Burying people I love and can’t imagine living without. I’m terrible at coping with death, it hits me incredibly hard.

What’s the luckiest thing that’s ever happened to you? (Maybe I know this answer.. your Ladybug?)
You’re right, although I have to say I wouldn’t have the kid without the man I love. I’m glad I found my way to him.

What is your biggest “guilty pleasure”?
Good red wine. I keep wishing wine wasn’t an alcoholic beverage. It’s so tasty! Oh and World of Warcraft… *cough*

What is your favorite movie ?
“The Green Mile”, “Toast” and “Lucky Number Slevin”.

What is your favorite book ?
Bulgakov’s “The Master and Margarita”.

How many languages do you fluently speak?
Four (and a half)! Estonian, Swedish, English and Finnish. I used to speak French fluently but I haven’t had any practice at all lately so I’d probably be lost for words if I had to speak French now…

What are your pet peeves?
(I had to google what ‘pet peeves’ means, how embarassing! To anyone else who doesn’t know, it means stuff that I find particularly annoying.)
Disorganization really annoys me. If I’ve assigned closet space for hoodies and H improvises and puts them somewhere else. Or if someone is visiting and misplaces cutlery (forks where knives are supposed to be etc.). I’m no Monk, I just hate when I can’t find something when I try hard to keep sh*t neat and organized.
What else? Parents that don’t bother to discipline their misbehaving kids in public, when restaurants give fancy names to half-ass dishes (lettuce with mayonnaise and leftover chicken is not a freaking Caesar salad), people who use big words and don’t know what they mean (‘ignorance’ is not someone ignoring you). Grrrrrrrrrrr, I could go on forever. 😀

OUR HOME

Are you happy with your home, including the furnishings etc?
I’m happy with it because it’s all our own. We’re far from done and since home improvement and interior design is very important to me, I’ll probably never be a 100% happy. But thinking of the state our apartment was in before and what we’ve accomplished so far, I’m very happy. Our guests have said they think our home is cozy and inviting and that’s what’s important. Plus my daughter has a beautiful room with a huge blackboard wall to draw on. What’s not to be happy about?

Did you get a new place as well?
Nope, this place is pretty much as old as it gets. It’s the apartment I grew up in. 🙂

VANITY/CLOTHING

If you could only keep 1 make-up product, what would it be?
Probably my BB-cream from Maybelline…

You should write about the secret to your beauty, because you look very beautiful in your pictures? Whether it’s a nine-hour beauty sleep, clever DIY-masks and creams or anything else!
I guess a “thank you” is in order? H suggested I answer “photoshop” (thinks he’s real funny, I guess he enjoys sleeping in the garage), but that’s not true at all. I’m terrible at taking care of myself and my skin, but what I’ve found helps keep my skin clear and glowing is proper moisturizing. I use plain carrot oil and it works miracles on my otherwise problematic skin. They say using oil balances oily/impure skin and makes it stop producing excessive oil.
Nine hours of sleep? Very funny! 😀

What is your best make-up tip ?
A good brush for applying your foundation and contouring your face with bronzer. And, most importantly (and this took me years to realize): less is more!

If you could empty a clothing store which store would it be?
Can it be an online store? In that case, I pick net-a-porter.com!

What do you do to stay in shape, especially now that you have a kid? Do you work out? If so, what do you do? And do you watch how you eat?
I’ve never been a fan of working out, unfortunately. Correction: I think working out is a blast, but actually getting to it always seems so incredibly hard. The workout I get now is carrying around the 12 kg sack that is my baby, run up and down the stairs (if we’re at grandma’s) to lay her back down in her crib, carry the stroller when there’s no elevator and go for walks with the kid/dog. I don’t generally watch what I eat, but I’m conscious about what I eat – I’m aware that eating bread, potato and pasta is completely unnecessary carbs and should be avoided. If I do eat something fatty or heavy, I’m well aware of it and I guess that makes my body crave lighter foods the day after.

MOTHERHOOD

Do you want a second child too? Would it be rather sooner than later?
Yes, a little brother preferably 🙂 Rather sooner, but not too soon. I’d like for the ladybug to grow a bit older so I can explain to her that I love her just as much, even though my attention is focused on a newborn.

What other name choices did you have for the baby other than the one you picked out? Or was the one you chose the one and only?

We also considered Nele, which I think is a lovely name. If the baby had been a boy, I would’ve liked Toomas (Thomas), but H didn’t like that one…

Isn’t there a character in Ice Age called Elly?
Yes, there is. 😀 I didn’t realize that until we’d already picked out baby’s name, but it only confirmed we made the right choice! Our daughter’s name choice was inspired by my great-grandmother (who had the same name) and Ellie Goulding (I listened to a lot of her “Your Song” when I was preggers).

Are you planning to put the kid in daycare next year?
She’ll be going to daycare once she’s ready – when she’s potty trained and happy to stay behind to play with other kids. We’re not going to force her into anything just because I need to go to work. We’ll somehow solve it by getting a babysitter if necessary!

What is your best parenting tip?
Trust your instincts, no matter what anyone else says!

What was your first though when finding out you were pregnant?
First disbelief, then happiness and excitement. And anxiety, I was scared to tell H…

Anything you as a mom would do differently?
I’d like to not have such a short temper. To be more patient with the kid. Working on it every day, though!

If the ladybug got a little baby brother now, what would you name him?
I still like Toomas (Thomas) or Joonatan (Jonathan), but I know H disagrees. What I would not name a little boy? Kevin…

What do you think your life would be like now if you didn’t have a kid?
I’d probably be working somewhere to pay the bills and be able to afford la vida loca and be a lot less focused on my future.

What was your biggest fear when you were preggers?
That the depression I was suffering from during my pregnancy would affect my unborn baby’s well-being and that she’d be distressed and hysterical once she was born.

If you could offer a newborn child only one piece of advice, what would it be?
This, too, shall pass – I’d tell the kid that any pain or discomfort he or she is feeling is only temporary. At least that’s what I wished I could tell baby when she was crying.

How is sleep-schooling going?
Not well at all, thank you for asking. For some reason (probably because -5 degrees isn’t cold enough, lol) our apartment building is barely being heated so the radiators are cold and the indoor temperature is 17-18 degrees. Baby kicks off her blanket and then wakes up because she’s cold and has trouble falling back asleep. She’s sleeping in our bed…

TRIVIA

If you could be anyone else for a day, who would it be?
I thought of your question long and hard. Just one day isn’t enough to really change the world so being someone influential for a day wouldn’t benefit anyone in the long run. Being rich and famous would be fun, but not for something I didn’t earn myself. My honest answer? I would like to be my daughter to better understand her as a person. I speak from experience when I say nothing is worse than being misunderstood by your parents.

What’s your fantasy travel destination/top three travel destinations?
South Africa, Japan and some tiny paradise island in the Caribbean. To begin with. Then the rest of the world!

What’s the best present you ever gave someone?
I’m not sure, you’d have to ask the people who have received the gifts. One of them is definitely the beer calendar I made for H, his happiness and excitement is priceless!

If you could live in a different time period, when would it be?
19th century Paris!

Would you rather fight 100 duck-sized horses or 1 horse-sized duck?
Depends on the strategical capabilities of the tiny horses – if they outsmart me, I’m in trouble. A huge duck sounds scary as hell, but if my goal is escaping the beast rather than defeating it, I’d probably be able to dodge the massive beak. I’ll go with the tiny horses…

If you could only eat one thing for the next 6 months, what would it be?
This created a lot of discussion around the dinner table. I think I’d eat a salad or soup of some kind, something light with many ingredients. A salad with loads of different veggies, feta, grilled chicken and a nice, creamy dressing. Or a beef-stock based beetroot soup with various vegetables.

What is the most beautiful song ever written/do you have a favourite poem or lyrics?
Tough question, I’m a sucker for beautiful melodies and deep lyrics. V. Ojakäär’s “Olematu laul” (makes me sob like a baby every single time). In English? My first thought was “Piano man” by Billy Joel. Or Nick Cave’s “Into my arms”…

Would you ever strip or pose nude in a magazine?
I gave it some thought and toyed with the idea when I was around the age of 17-18, but today? Not a chance.

What is your biggest fear?
Maggots and larva. Seeing them (even if it’s just photos) makes me want to lay down and just die.

Where do you see yourself in five years? Ten years?
In five years I’ll be the mother of a beautiful five six-year (notice how I have a hard time wrapping my head around the fact that my baby is almost a year old?) daughter who’s articulate, polite , has a beautiful singing voice and hopefully an adorable little brother, too. I’ll be done studying to be a pastry chef and work as one, maybe even be on my way to opening up my own pastry shop/bakery. Have time to study at a university just for the sake of learning. Maybe I’ll even be married..

In ten years I’ll be a respectable chef, constantly learning and developing my skills. I realize it’s never too late to learn so I’ll continue with my university studies and never settle for anything but the very best!

What do you imagine your perfect wedding day to be like?
The ceremony will be held {here}, the reception and party {here}. All of my loved ones will be there, I’ll wear a beautiful white gown with a long white lace veil that my little girl will carry. I have it all figured out!

 

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