I cannot believe it’s already been half a year since I first held my little baby girl in my arms. Every single one of the days we’ve spent together with her has been a bliss. Barely any frustration at all (and by saying barely I mean I’ve been frustrated but because I’m sometimes mentally volatile, not because she’s done anything to cause it), only laughter, giggles and a lot of cuddling. She’s been such a little rock through all of it – the few times she’s been hurt or while her teeth were really bothering her. She doesn’t bitch and whine, she sucks it up and gets through it, only demanding some cuddling, kisses and hugs.
By every little thing she learns and every skill she masters, my paranoia gets worse. It’s horrid – loving someone so intensively that the constant worry and fear of losing them is almost tiring. Every once in a while I close my eyes when I’m with her, I hold her as tightly as I can without hurting her, I breathe her in and try to seize the moment. They don’t just say they grow up too fast for nothing. It’s true – I can’t keep up. One moment she’s so tiny I can easily carry her on one arm, the next she’s already turning over both ways, trying to move forward, playing with toys, weighing almost 10kg.
I cannot imagine my life playing out any other way. This here – my child, my home, the man I love, the friends I’ve chosen and the family I’ve been given – this is it. This is the life I’ve always dreamt of having, anything else that I get or learn along the way will be an amazing bonus but as long as I have this immense amount of love together with the solid support net I have surrounding me, there’s nothing else I would ever ask for.
Thank you, little girl, for teaching me everything I ever needed to know about life. Thank you for letting me know what’s important and healing wounds I didn’t even know were there. Thank you, my love, for choosing us to be your parents. I will spend my entire life trying to do right by you.